Living without help from others is impossible. People need people because we were’nt created to dwell or exist solitarily. Instead, we were designed to be interdependent, and to co-habitat. Even God said in his Word that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). In these challenging times, it is difficult to live without secure routines of convenience, the comfort of regular paydays, and healthy bank accounts . But I have found another source of comfort and supply; another source that is greater than my own humanity; it is the presence of God. I have cried out to God in my distress and He is fortifying, and strengthening my character and determination. My hope, faith, and trust in God and His Word has noticibly increased. Time spent in God’s Word causes love, joy, peace, and happiness to ripen and explode in my spirit because His Word is alive, it is life. And I can’t find the anger, hurt and bitterness that I once knew well. Am I saying that everything is perfect, no, but my life is so far from where it once was. God has put me in a lovely home; I have peace and tranquility that six years ago I absolutely did not have; my attitude about my life is becoming far more positive; and most of all I realize that I have the power to change my life for the absolute better; I do not have to settle, or compromise what is right. But I do have to ackowledge God, have an attitude of gratitude towards God, study and speak His Word over my life daily, and follow His leading. Because more of God’s presence is in my heart, I am open to life and living again; The possibilities, for me, have become possible.
I am doing a pretty good job of getting along without my child being at home. I am really getting into my writing, maintaining my blogs and thinking about writing a short play for children, (that I really think I am going to do). I also thought about doing an outreach with food for those who are finding it difficult to make ends meet in this economy. I have really gotten past the shock of being on my own after so many years. The fact that I started the process gradually has been a big help for me and I am really getting into ME. I really wish that I thought about ME a lot sooner. I have to work a little harder to take care of me, but it is worth it, I am worth it. It may sound corny, okay it is corny, but I am happy discovering just who I am. I am a grown woman with a grandchild, and I am finding excitement in finding out who I am. Since I am already in corny mode, I might as well let it rip, I had a wonderful experience the other day. I listened to the SILENCE, and heard my heart beat. I was grateful to be alive. To have an opportunity to serve God better than I had been. I thought about my talents and abilities that He could use for his purposes. I thought about married life and how much I missed it. What an absolute gift Life is! I never knew that Silence had so much to say.
My quest to pursue Spirit, and live a life on point with the kind of life that God has prepared for me, has been a journey of destruction and rebuilding. Revisiting the past and confronting it and dethroning the power of the hurt from days gone by. Things said and done, doors opened, evil unleashed, a life thrown into turmoil, has now worked a far better glory in my life. What gave me the power to do that? The love of God did. Knowing that I can trust God’s love for me, gave me courage to revisit those places of pain to tell them that they will no longer have power nor place in my life. The hurt has been replaced with the love of God. Love for Him and love for me, now love for others. God’s love is filling up the empty places in me. God’s acceptance is filling up the deep places of need in me. God’s peace is overshadowing me, and I trust Him. My wings are unfolding, wide they want to spread, I’m about to soar in the freedom that only the Master can give. Is that destiny that I’m tasting…
